Selfish: adj – concerned chiefly with one’s own personal profit or pleasure. (Says Google)
Selfishness is something that runs in our bones. It’s not really something I feel I can ever ‘overcome’ or one day rid myself of giving into temptations that benefit me.
In fact, I’m the person who says… “I need a coffee.” “It’s okay. I know a lot of people who are giving to that cause. I don’t need to.” “It’s okay if I don’t explain why I’m angry at that person. My anger will just vanish one day. I don’t want to have to argue right now.”
Seflish.
So in a world where every day, in almost every turn of our heads, we have moments where we can choose give into selfish desires, thoughts, or feelings – my question is, how do we combat that?
This summer I was back in the States for 2 months and I got a chance to catch up with many people. It was wonderful. But something that really stuck out to me was our selfishness with church. I heard the following examples from so many people, “I’m not sure if I want to be a part of that small group. I just don’t know if I’ll grow.” or “Well I kind of just don’t want to go there anymore. I’m going to try another place. See if it’s what I’m looking for.” or “Those people all have problems that I don’t want to deal with. I’m finding another place to go.”
And yes – in certain cases, those are all very real issues. And I’m not telling anyone to stay at a place where they aren’t growing. But this verse always comes to mind. And I recognize the context is a little different. But I think it can still be applied.
In Romans 12, Paul talks a lot about love – and how to act that out: bless those who persecute you, practice hospitality, do not be conceited… etc. In verse 18 it notes, “If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.”
As. Far. As. It. Depends. On. YOU.
I could go many ways with this, and once again I recognize this situation is not exactly what Paul is speaking of – but this verse is a call to me in all areas of life. It’s asking me, “Hey – have you done all you can do? Have you given it your best go? Have you created peace? What is your MINDSET like for the situation or person?” Because many times I find it’s my problem that I need to own.
Sure, maybe a certain church hasn’t been as great as I’d have hope, but what am I DOING about it? Am I getting involved? Am I meeting with people? Am I being Jesus to others? Or am I focused on if OTHER people are doing these things for me – them reaching out or inviting me to coffee. And if there isn’t something you can physically do, you can mentally choose to change your mindset about the issue. //It depends on me//
Seflish. There it is again.
So yes – my first few examples were a little silly. And I need to meditate in my heart on my own problems of greed or fear or discipline. But you know who can help me with those things? The Church. As in, the people in my life who are walking alongside me, pushing me to be better. If I don’t have these people to begin with, then things are going to take a whole lot longer. If I give up on the people who can be there for me, I don’t stand a chance. All of my other selfish problems can be faced when I’ve got people pushing me closer towards Jesus, who can help me make better choices.
As Jesus tells us in Luke 9:23 “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me.”
Deny. Self.
So for me, the antidote to being selfish is pretty clear yet extremely difficult. I need to deny myself. I need to choose Jesus. I need HIM to be my first thought when deciding what to say, what to buy, and what I should be involved in. Jesus has the power to help change our mentality, outlook, and actions.
But folks, we need to Church along with us. And that is you. Don’t give up on something if you haven’t committed your 100% to it.
Go be the Church to each other. Persevere. Let Jesus do His work in us, together.